I Made Friends With My “Hater” And Then Hired Her

Crazy story.

When I started blogging about 3 years ago, negative comments really made me hate my life. Then, once I started doing it professionally, I realized that it was a sign of relevance and notoriety. People care and that’s all that matters. Good feedback, bad feedback, personal attacks – as long as my readers are reacting, I’m happy.

I’ve even gotten death threats for my relationship advice on this blog. I thought that people who wrote these sorts of things were mentally ill and that it was best to just ignore them.

So I focused on nurturing my positive comments. I replied to positive feedback with lots of enthusiasm and ignored most of the negative statements. I actually made friends with a lot of readers who left kind comments under my posts. We connected beyond my articles and created real friendships.

I can say with certainty that my relationship with people I met through my blog is stronger than it ever was with my actual real-life friends. As crazy as it sounds, Internet makes it easier to open up, share stories and talk about things that actually matter, instead of just, “How’s work? Good? Nice! We should get together sometime! Ok, bye!”

This January, I got to thinking about my resolutions and couldn’t help but wonder, what if my “haters” were actually good people? What if I tried to be nice to them instead of ignoring their messages? Can my “love” be stronger than their “hate?” I thought it could be an interesting experiment. My theory was that behind every internet troll was a self-conscious human being who’s just looking for attention and acceptance.

As a result, the entire month of January I faced my worst fear which was talking kindly to my “haters” and ignoring their insults. I found a few social media profiles that left mean comments recently and started bombarding them with nice(ish) messages lol.

I got this comment under one of my Insta pics:

So I DM’d that person:

“What negativity?” LOL – I didn’t feel like continuing this conversation and explaining why their comment was negative, so I messaged another profile and it wasn’t successful either. They basically told me to F off. Another person blocked me, so I couldn’t even message them. I spoke to another girl briefly and she kind of apologized, but it was weird.

And then there was this one profile who has been hiding behind several fake names and escaping my blocking skills for a few months now. She warmed up to me right away, I felt like she actually wanted to talk:

So we hit it off and ended up speaking every day for over a week. She opened up about her weight issues, love life and how she’s struggling to find a job at the moment. She was not a crazy person like I thought all my “haters” were. She was just hurting badly and I felt her pain. So I thought, “Why not offer her a part-time contributor position for my site?” I spoke to my husband, he also thought it was a cool idea.

She replied:

A couple of days later she wrote her first blog post and then another one (my personal favourite) talking about her ex and why she was mean to people online, you can read it here. No, it’s not her real name, in case you’re wondering.

I’m really proud of both of us – I faced one of my deepest fears and she wasn’t afraid of admitting that she was wrong and putting her guards down. That’s real strength. Love wins after all! <3

Main photo cred – Weheartit

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