That was… different.
I decided to do this thing to test a popular internet theory, 36 questions that, supposedly, make people fall in love. All you have to do is keep eye contact and answer these questions honestly with your partner. Or in my case, my Tinder date. These 36 questions are complete nonsense to me, because I believe that people like to listen to themselves more than having to listen to someone else talking. I was sure that I would walk out of this date like I usually do – without any excitement and desire for a second date.
I had one serious relationship in the past, but I got so traumatized after our breakup that I couldn’t think of seeing anyone else for a good couple of years following our separation. I was convinced that no one would ever love me again, and told everyone that there was simply no one good enough for me. I religiously read compatibility horoscopes and advice from a variety of women’s magazines, but nothing seemed to help my situation.
When I read the questions, my eyes jumped to No. 18, “What is your most terrible memory?” The questions seemed really personal. Oh well, I had nothing to lose at this point.
So I changed my Tinder bio to, “I want to pass the ’36 questions’ test with you and fall in love.” It was just a matter of finding a guy who was willing to do it with me. (please don’t cringe LOL)
Matt was 35 years old, worked as a lawyer and heard about “36 questions” before. I was so ready to fall in love, I even picked up a bra without a pushup effect, so that everything was real. Starting our relationship with no lies, you know?
I was super late for our date, although I lived quite close to the restaurant we were supposed to meet at. I was actually afraid that he left, but nope! He turned out to be a gentleman, patiently sitting at a table with a list of questions in front of him. I was so nervous, but tried to keep calm. He was cute.
We quickly decided that I had to answer first. That was kind of unfair, because it’s waaay easier to answer second. For example, in describing what I valued most in friendship, I said “a sense of humor,” and he then said, “kindness” – and I felt like changing my answer. His answers were so much more likeable.
I had the most trouble with questions which consisted in praising your partner. Fortunately, everything went smoothly. I started with “I respect your desire to do what you love.” The answers did not slip into vulgarity or sexual hints, yay!
I learned a lot about him, much more than I usually do on first dates. But his answers also showed a bunch of skeletons in the closet. He talked a lot about his family. I’m not very close with my parents, so it was rather strange to me. He also said that he likes to be alone and sometimes doesn’t leave the house for a couple of days in a row. And this is exactly what I hated about my ex. All these little things made me think that, perhaps, we weren’t very compatible.
When we finished the questions (and broke our eye contact), an awkward pause took place. I tried to dilute it with a stupid question about animals. He said that he would like to adopt a Chihuahua one day, and I thought to myself, “Oh Lordy, please save me right now.”
We basically ended up being too different. The experience was pleasant, and the questions helped our conversation flow, but we didn’t even flirt! There was definitely a spark missing.
And the worst thing was, Matt said that he wouldn’t want to do it again, EVER. I think he didn’t like the experience at all. I thought it was fun… He told me it wasn’t because of me, but it was too late. I already moved to another city and started a new life in my head.
After our date, I came back home and laid down on my sofa. The apartment was a mess, and I felt the urge to reflect on the essence of my useless love life. I felt like a total loser. Everyone seems to be married or in relationships and here I am, playing these stupid games with strangers. The questions made me so vulnerable in front of a guy I barely knew. Never again… never again.
Main photo cred – Weheartit