Ahhh, the age old question of “who should pay on the first date?”
This post reflects my personal opinion and I’m not a crazy devoted feminist, so some of you are going to disagree with me.
After analyzing a bunch of women I know, I noticed one similar pattern. For instance, one of my good friends has recently divorced her husband because she’s lost all respect for him. She was steadily growing in her career path while he was lagging behind like an amoeba. As a result, sex drive was lost and she couldn’t look at him the same way anymore.
Another friend of mine had her boyfriend move into her place. One thing led to another, he got a little too comfortable and she ended up paying rent alone. As a consequence, my friend was no longer sexually attracted to her partner and had to end that relationship. He eventually paid off his debt, but that didn’t fix the situation – it was a little too late.
Another girlfriend was casually dating this guy who was a strong believer in “going dutch.” She didn’t seem to mind because we live in the 21st century and it appears to be the norm everywhere. My friend had a solid job, so money wasn’t an issue. Then she met this other guy who insisted to pick up the check every single time, so she texted me this:LOL! They’re still together by the way.
Do you see the pattern that I was talking about? Because I do. Women are attracted to men that they can look up to and be proud of. They’re not looking for someone to take care of, they prefer to be taken care of. In other words, what I’m trying to say is this – from my experience, women are sexually attracted to strong, gentlemanly, alpha males that they can count on. In a similar fashion, when you offer to split the bill on the first date, it automatically disqualifies you from your “alpha male” position. You haven’t even started dating and you already lost. Let me explain.
As a woman, tell yourself this – the way your man acts on a first date is the kindest he’ll ever be because he’s trying to impress you, right? If, at this stage, he already wants to split the bill without having the need to showcase his generosity, then imagine what he’s going to be like in 5-10 years from now? He’ll pick up diapers on his way from work and tell you this at dinner, “Honey, you owe me five bucks for diapers, remember?” Some people don’t mind this at all and will split everything evenly with no hesitation, I find it straight up cheap.
I’m not talking for ALL women here, of course. Perhaps I only surround myself with females who are attracted to dominant male figures, I just get them so much. However, I’ve witnessed some women with very strong characters who prefer men to be passive or even submissive. If you belong to either of the aforementioned categories, then ignore this article completely. There is no such thing as “universal truth.”
Don’t twist this around and say, “All women want is money!” That’s not true. A man doesn’t need to be a millionaire to be desired by women. I’ll even go as far as saying that a man’s financial situation has nothing to do with his ability to give. If he doesn’t make that much money, but still decides to take a girl out to a nice dinner – that’s the kind of behaviour that women admire. Or he can get creative and offer to go for ice cream. If a guy wants to split the bill on the first date, then he’s most probably cheap and it will only get worse with time.
On a side note, I don’t find that letting a man pay for first date’s dinner puts any sort of sexual pressure on the woman. It’s a kind gesture that solidifies his stance as a gentleman, nothing more. It doesn’t mean that a woman can’t afford her own dinner either, it’s not an insult.
Keep in mind, we’re talking about FIRST dates here. Eventually, the woman has to contribute obviously. As for longterm serious relationships, there shouldn’t be such things as “mine” or “yours,” just “ours.” Splitting bills and bank accounts only creates unnecessary separation as well as secrets in a relationship and brings no real good.